So many of us hold on to old habits, thoughts, beliefs, perceptions and views on the world around us that have came from our childhood and how we were raised to view ourselves, the world around us and others. Many of these views are built inside our mind and body as we grow up as we ultimately mirror and copy those key figures in our lives all in which shapes a lot of how we create our own reality now, as adults.
Previously as a health and wellness coach I heard many of my clients say “It’s in my genes” or “It’s just me, I can’t change” and this is something I personally experience as I have noticed particular restricting thought patterns repeat themselves throughout my own journey such as low self belief and self efficacy.
Let the dead leaves drop – Rumi
In this blog I explore 3 ways that helped me drop my dead leaves and develop a belief system and attitude that serves me in every day life to remember my unique power. I hope this serves you as a reader to remind you of yours, I would love to hear in the comment section below on how you have overcame your dead leaves…
- Number 1: Your voice matters.
Just reading this line when I forget this one helps remind me.
Many of us grew up going through a school system that allows us only to speak when we know the right answer, this continues similarly into adolescents and adult life fearing that our answers may be wrong. I want you to imagine a time in your life when you knew the answer or had an idea in any given situation, however you feared to speak or tell anyone in that moment and so missed an opportunity that someone else got because they had the initial confidence. I have had this experience of missed opportunity due to fear in my own life too many times until I realised that my voice really does matter, and if you didn’t already know.. so does yours!
When thinking back to childhood, we all have different lived experiences growing up depending on our environment, caretakers and emotional and physical support. Ask yourself, were you able to voice your opinion and was it heard and discussed in a positive and supported way? Did your primary caretakers ask what you thought about the world around you and for your opinion? Sometimes when we were not heard as children, this is manifested into adulthood as our belief system is built upon low self worth.
Find your voice. Own your voice. Share your voice
There is no better time that now to step into your true potential and own who you are. That doesn’t have to mean holding onto your ego so tight that you become consumed in the self and what you have to say disregarding others, its about remembering that there is enough to go around for everyone and your uniqueness is needed somewhere in the world right now. So, if you didn’t already know.. Your voice matters.
Number 2: Please stop wishing your life was someone else’s..
This is single handily the biggest waste of time I have spent throughout my life. It first began with being a teenage girl wishing I could have her hair or her figure with her sense of style.. gals if you know you know. This is a natural part of life and as I spoke about in my previous blog on ’embracing uncertainties’ (posted below) as I explain further on why falling into the comparison trap will only hold you back. Moving into my 20’s I really began to observe thoughts of envy and how these essentially have robbed me of many joyful moments in my life, for example rather than thinking up my own ideas or creating my reality, I would obsessively look at others beautiful creations in my younger years wishing I could be “multi-talented” like them.. Later in life I have came to the conclusion that I don’t really believe in talent alone, just a lot of harrrrrd work.
There is only one you and I wish to remind you that taking inspiration and mentoring from others is a powerful way to connect and learn, however if you find yourself beginning to compare their life to yours over and over you will forget how special your own life is.
Taking time for yourself to figure out who you are and what you believe can help connect you to your real core beliefs away from others, I personally find trying new things, reading and learning and meditating are the best ways for me to connect to my core.
Number 3: Turn your pain into power
I will start on this one by sharing this quote that I absolutely love that I hope also serves you well.
“Pain is a traveling professor and it goes and knocks on everyones door. The smartest people I know are the people who say, come in and don’t leave until you have taught me what I need to know.” – Glennon Doyle Melton
As we look into our emotions and begin to fully experience them, for example the anger and fear we naturally experience as human beings, as we delve further into the root of where this pain sits we find answers to our biggest problems.
Holding onto past experiences subconsciously sends our energy into a continuous cycle of repeating behaviours and thoughts rather than using this on new energy to grow from any challenges that arise. Change ultimately comes from continued self development challenging old thoughts that have not served you well, and welcoming new positive affirmations to turn that pain into power.
Wishing Health Love & Light!
I love that quote. Pain as a travelling professor that can teach us all we need to know if we let it. Very interesting.
Ah I love this quote. It really makes you think about why sitting with pain is okay.