To be genuine

Writing puts my feelings from the inside, out into the world and helps in making me feel not so alone with all of my thoughts anymore, tonight is one of those spontaneous evenings of writing from the inside, to the outside world, writing from the heart. So hello to you! and thank you for stopping by to read my blog.

Amongst the things we don’t really know, or speculate on and comment about in the world today, true connection to ourselves and others through genuineness, I feel is the power we hold to staying connected. I have started to become aware of the difference between surface level connections in my own life to genuine connections, and the joy in which I am realizing I feel from a deep conversation expressing my passions. Do you yourself readers, ever feel like there’s a lot missing from many interactions you have on a day to day basis?

Living in a fast-moving sterile world, with less smiles and open faces to see, I feel like I’ve had to re-evaluate my own communication style and ways to getting to a place of real expression to others and genuine connection. Practicing active listening, being open, vulnerable and honest in conversations and showing a real interest in others even if they greatly differ from myself have been some actions I have been putting my awareness on recently.

A 2020 study in the Journal of Cosmetic Dermatology found that dividing the face into a visible half and invisible half might enhance the perception of negative emotions and diminish the perception of positive emotions. “Emotions such as surprise or disgust that utilize the mouth may be mistaken for strongly negative emotions such anger or sadness, and a smile may seem diminished or less genuine when the teeth and lips are occluded,” authors wrote.

Thinking over my 26 years of life so far, I think of all the people and connections I have met along the way and how I have related with each person so differently to the next. I’ve always been interested in the concept of social chameleons, the pro’s and the con’s. An interesting point of view that I have explored is the potential that ‘social chameleons’ are not mimicking the behaviors of others but instead adapting to the depth or surface level conversation in which they are having with others. Always themselves but only revealing the colours they wish to.

Growing up I found myself to be quite the extrovert, every social circle interested me and I never really found myself to fit into any one circle of people. When I think back to my overly extroverted 16 year old self, it wasn’t just the feeling of popularity or fitting in with people that drove me to this, but the individual people I found interesting and connected to would lead me to their social circle. I think without knowing it at the time, what I was actively doing was finding meaning and genuine friendships that made me feel connected and understood, but instead found myself with lack of deep friendships.

10 years on from my younger self, and now what I feel a much more combined mix of introvert and extrovert inside of me. I have began to realise that lots of people around doesn’t at all make me feel connected to others, this shift in awareness I am still unfolding and understanding… but one thing I know for sure is one genuine conversation with a stranger, can mean more to me than a surface level conversation with someone I have known my whole life.

In a world full of answers that seem easily googled and black and white, what interests me now more is hearing peoples lived experiences, asking questions on what it is that gets peoples soul grooving that I am talking to. To recognize the spark in someone’s eyes when they talk about something they believe in, to see how each person differs from the next, with all different fires inside of us.

To get to a place in conversation that goes past the “Yeah good, how are you” I think is the place that makes us all one, with very different life paths and purposes yet genuine connection through which words are chosen in a conversation, is becoming more and more important to me in my own life.

We are all ever changing as humans, I urge you to explore the depths of the person you are next having a conversation with, I believe being in the physical means learning from each other as we go along this crazy journey alongside each other!

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